The Truth Series: Six truths every woman who has been sexually abused should know

Truth #2: You are cherished

You have not been forgotten, you are cherished.

You are cherished and so very precious to Him. I know that for many of us it is very hard to “feel” cherished when we are mistreated and not shown value at one point or many times throughout our lives.  As we began to grow into women many of us still have not felt cherished or valuable. Maybe we even sought other relationship in which others would take advantage of us. Let’s break that cycle now and begin to recognize or value to Our Father.

What do you even think of the word cherished? For me it co notates almost a distant admiration. Maybe for some it makes you sad because you have not felt cherished. Listen, our Heavenly Father is by no means admiring us from a distance; on the contrary He loves us and wants to know us intimately. He formed us and knows our innermost thought and desires and loves us NO MATTER what.

You will see throughout this process that suffering has a purpose. You will never get a sufficient reason why, but you can realize that you can pass on the comfort to others who have been through similar pains. Your hurts were not in vain, not one tear will be wasted.

He loves you so much and you can’t imagine all that He has for you. He wants to lavish you with love. You are one of His most prized possessions.   But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Cor 2:9  He has great plans for you, you have not been forgotten.  I hope that you see that recognizing Christ’s love for you is vitally important in recognizing how cherished you are.

Let this scripture be your prayer this week:

…that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God. Phil 1:9-11

The Truth Series: Six truths every woman who has been sexually abused should know

Truth #1:  You are pure

The shame is not yours, you are not to blame.

It is time for you to let go of the shame. There is nothing you did to provoke, seduce or cause what was stolen from you. You are not to blame, you are not irrevocably broken, and you are not damaged goods. I understand the depths of shame that is caused from sexual abuse. Shame can root itself so deeply in the soul of a woman who has been abused and misused. Even with so much awareness there is still a stigma prevalent in today’s society. That we as victims of abuse often take on, that we have something to hide or not talk about. That it is best kept secret or quiet, that we should just move on and not talk about it. This is a lie and continues to perpetuate the shame.

I have this exercise for you; this is not easy to do but it is really important. Can you remember the age you were when your abuse began? For some of us the memories are fuzzy, but try to recall your earliest memory. How old were you?  Now take a moment and picture someone who is that age. Would you ever blame a child of that same age for anything perpetuated on her by an adult? Of course you would not blame her. Would you make her feel ashamed?  Please give yourself the same amount of grace.

You are not responsible for the evil committed against you. You did not ask for it. You were not too weak. You did not do anything wrong. You have no responsibility in your abuse.

I pray that as you read this you will not just superficially “hear” this, but that you will allow it to penetrate your soul. I pray you allow God to begin to speak to your heart and begin the work of healing.

 

Jesus Raises Lazarus

38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” 44  The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

John 11:38-44

Wow, I love the beauty of the last words spoken in this passage by Jesus. This speaks directly to me about the bondage the secret and the scars of abuse can have. God wants us to be raised from the dead and brought to life and have freedom from all that binds us.

Baby Steps

Baby steps

I have come to realize that life is all about baby steps, that each step we make despite fear is a step of courage. It is not easy to take the first steps towards the truth. Often the secrets, that our poisoning us, become the security that sustains us. It is ironic how we begin to hold on the things that hurt us most, because we would rather be in pain with the things we know, than risk healing in the face of the unknown.   I am still taking baby steps. Life with Christ should always push us past the comfortable to the unknown to grow our faith. I do not want to be a safe Christian, I want to be a courageous woman, a woman who is an over comer. Stepping towards Him and healing takes courage but you will never regret those steps. I pray you have the courage to continue moving forward.

Why Ministries?

I explained yesterday why I chose Uncover as the name as this ministry. I think it is also so important to explain why this is a ministry, not simply a nonprofit, but a ministry.

Simply put there is no way that I can look at the last 12 years and not say that God has given me the grace to deal with my past and come on the other side healthy, whole and restored. I am not perfect (shocker to those who know me), this life is not without challenges (I am married, have 3 children and am a church planting wife), but I am no longer hindered by what was done to me.

It has been 12 years since I walked into an amazing church filled with the love of Christ. In this church I was loved on, accepted and brought to the knowledge of a God who had an infinite amount of love for me. There I realized I could not do it alone and I needed Jesus. I needed a life that could assign some semblance of meaning to the darkest parts of my past. So I committed my life to a God who has never failed me. From that point on I began to slowly unravel the years of my life that had been so guarded, protected in the unhealthiest of relationship. Slowly I began to utter all that had been done to me and subsequently all the decision I made to guarantee my own self-destruction. I owned what I needed to own and unloaded all the guilt and shame that I did not need to carry.

I can say without a doubt the only way that I have received healing from my past is to recognize that I could not do it on my own. I had to understand and learn who I was according to a loving God. You must combat the lies with the truth.  This is not about religion, about what church you go to, or how good you are. This is about understanding how much you need God, that Jesus came to die for you. You are so precious to Him.  This is a ministry because I am simply a message teller of all the God has done in my life and I pray that you allow Him to work in yours.

This scripture was on the of the first that assigned meaning to my suffering

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.   2 Corinthians 3-4

This is a ministry because I have the privilege of comforting you, as I have been comforted. Today, I pray comfort for you.

Why Uncover?

Why the name Uncover?

As I said before this blog is the culmination of several years of wrestling with God, with assuming that this ministry could just be kept contained in a neat little package and comfort level. It could be shared in a way that was controlled and maintained, but that is not what God wanted. Uncover Ministries was birthed from a place of coming to the realization that nothing kept in secret can be healed from.  Even in the word “uncover” there is vulnerability.  Vulnerability is one of the greatest fears of someone who has been sexually abused.  Uncover means to make visible to reveal.  With uncovering a secret, with relinquishing the shame, there can be a metamorphosis. Revealing the secret brings freedom, it brings light, and it brings restoration. A change from being trapped and confined by things we could not control and to being able to live freely as the woman you were meant to be.

You will hear my talk about how God asks us to take steps of courage, that despite our fear we act in obedience and do what He asks anyway. For many of you, the first step of courage is to share the secret. The secret and shame of abuse can cripple you.  Please know that you do not have to continue your life wounded, that God wants to heal you.  That the shame you have is not yours to carry.

Please know that I understand how difficult it is, but I also know there is hope on the other side.

This scripture is so beautiful. I pray that it encourages you, wherever you are in your process.

Those who look to the Lord are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame.    Psalm 34:5

The first step…

The first step
I wondered, pondered, obsessed, feared and wrestled with God over the start of this. For many people blogging is a way to express thoughts, opinions or things that they are observing in their everyday life. I recognize the amazing accessibility to blogging and the beauty of sending those writings into the abyss to hopefully be read by some. For many that thought is exciting, for me it is petrifying. So, I begin this scared, but doing it anyway. I pray that I would be a woman of courage and obedience to God. This blog is being started with a specific and unique purpose. One that is not easy to talk about, but with an important purpose.
This blog, Uncover Ministries, is specifically designed to encourage woman to take the first courageous steps into healing from sexual abuse. I speak not from an outside observer, but as a woman who has experienced and has been healed from my past abuse. I wrestled with how much or how little to share about my story and after much prayer have come to this conclusion. I have divulged the particulars of my experiences with specific people throughout my healing process. I walked through the very difficult details and allowed myself to grieve what I needed to. I do not want to shine a light on the dark aspects of my past, but rather want to focus on the amazing healing and restoration I now have. I want to focus on the light not on the darkness. I do absolutely believe you have to share those aspects in order to be healed. You cannot move on without fully walking through the memories, no matter how difficult. I believe you have to have a voice, you deserve to have a voice. I encourage you to share your experiences with a person or people you trust. Do not stay quiet; do not hold it in a moment longer, the first step in your healing is to UNCOVER the secret.

Coming soon… Where did the Uncover Ministries name originate from?

Uncover the Secret, Discover the Truth