Truth #1: You are pure
The shame is not yours, you are not to blame.
It is time for you to let go of the shame. There is nothing you did to provoke, seduce or cause what was stolen from you. You are not to blame, you are not irrevocably broken, and you are not damaged goods. I understand the depths of shame that is caused from sexual abuse. Shame can root itself so deeply in the soul of a woman who has been abused and misused. Even with so much awareness there is still a stigma prevalent in today’s society. That we as victims of abuse often take on, that we have something to hide or not talk about. That it is best kept secret or quiet, that we should just move on and not talk about it. This is a lie and continues to perpetuate the shame.
I have this exercise for you; this is not easy to do but it is really important. Can you remember the age you were when your abuse began? For some of us the memories are fuzzy, but try to recall your earliest memory. How old were you? Now take a moment and picture someone who is that age. Would you ever blame a child of that same age for anything perpetuated on her by an adult? Of course you would not blame her. Would you make her feel ashamed? Please give yourself the same amount of grace.
You are not responsible for the evil committed against you. You did not ask for it. You were not too weak. You did not do anything wrong. You have no responsibility in your abuse.
I pray that as you read this you will not just superficially “hear” this, but that you will allow it to penetrate your soul. I pray you allow God to begin to speak to your heart and begin the work of healing.
Jesus Raises Lazarus
38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” 44 The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
Wow, I love the beauty of the last words spoken in this passage by Jesus. This speaks directly to me about the bondage the secret and the scars of abuse can have. God wants us to be raised from the dead and brought to life and have freedom from all that binds us.